📜 Oishi’s House Rules: To Be Followed by Susan 📜

🐾 Oishi
You may know me as Susan’s emotional support dog. Or the stoic philosofurr in red. But behind these soulful eyes and perfectly parted fur is a list. A sacred scroll. A constitution of calm and comfort.

Here are my House Rules — to be followed by Susan. No exceptions. No backtalk.

🐶 Oishi’s House Rules:

1. I only eat chicken. Anything else is a culinary insult.
2. Do not — I repeat, do not — remove my red bandana.
3. Belly rubs are required at bedtime. It’s law.
4. Scrub gently during baths. I’m a Shih Tzu, not a loofah.
5. I sleep beside you. I don’t care if you’re tired, mad, or engaged in existential dread.
6. When playing music, I prefer smooth jazz. Do not argue.
7. No baby voice. I’m a grown dog. With taxes.
8. Share your siopao or donut. You always say you’re full halfway through anyway.
9. Don’t cry in the bathroom. I can hear you. I will sit outside the door like a furry therapist.
10. If someone hurts you, I will attack. Emotionally. With judgment. And dramatic barking.

✍️ Writer’s Note:

These rules were written under strict supervision. Oishi stared at me the whole time like a furry editor-in-chief.

-Ember 😎🍷✍️