Tag: books

Narrator: Oishi. Supremely annoyed. Spiritually hungry.

It’s nearly midnight.

Susan’s not home.
My tummy’s rumbling.
I’m lying belly-up on the cold floor, tongue out, eyes glazed like a sad donut.

To distract myself from my slow starvation, I watched my fellow barkmates outside. And then—slam.

Car door.

Heavy footsteps.
Dramatic entrance.

Susan flung the door shut behind her and did the thing—pressed her back against it and slowly slid down like a soap opera star whose whole life just aired on primetime.

I thought, “Not this again, Sus. What did you do?”

But I love her.

So, I walked over and licked her tears. It was salty. I immediately regretted it. But I stayed. Sat beside her. From time to time, I rested my face on her lap—just so she knows:
I’m here. I love her. And also, I still haven’t eaten.

---

Narrator: Susan vs. The HR Department

It was Monday.

The office was busy—or at least everyone was pretending to be.

I naturally ignored the chaos and bee-lined to my besties, Yohanes and Brenda. Gossip time. Yohanes was mid-scandal-reporting like he was hosting a weather disaster special: 

Then it happened.

“SUSAAAAAN! Where is Susan? Someone bring me Susan!”

Plot twist:
Horacio, my manager (thin guy, brown hair, 90’s suit, glasses that scream I haven’t slept since 1998), was looking for me.

I nearly dropped the donut I was holding.

With the huskiest voice I could muster, I said,
“I’m here. To what do I owe the pleasure of your royal summons?”

I was trying to joke away my panic. But then he pulled out an email I wrote to a very difficult customer.

He waved the email like it was Exhibit A.  
In front of the entire office.

Subject: Re: Your Eternal Confusion

Dear Customer,

Hi. 👋
I’m not sure why the basic concept of “no payment = no service” is harder to understand than my dating life, but here we are.

To clarify, once again, for the people in the emotional back row:

💳 + 💰 = 🎉 Service
No 💳 + 🥱 = 🚫 Service

Hope this helps (but deeply suspect it won’t).
Please refrain from calling us again unless you’ve paid, grown as a person, or both.

P.S. Get a hobby. Or a succulent. Something low maintenance—unlike this conversation.

Goodbye.
Susan V.“I Haven’t Had My Coffee Yet”
Customer Service (Reluctantly)

The SIGNAL Co. – “We test your patience, so you don’t have to.”

The silence was deafening.
Horacio crumpled the email and stormed off like a rejected telenovela villain.

Oishi (a concerned but emotionally repressed Shih Tzu):
Fortunately, Horacio calmed down and gave Susan another chance—on one condition: behave

.

I was relieved. Because how will we eat if she loses her job? Who’s going to pay rent? We’ll be out there with my barkmates, living in snackless sorrow.

---

Life Lesson (from Susan, surprisingly):

I know what you’re thinking: “Oishi’s the only philosopher in the room.”
But hear me out.

Some customers are difficult. And sometimes you do want to scream. But there’s no excuse for the way I responded. Even if the customer was unreasonable, even if Horacio made a show out of it, I should’ve taken a breath before writing.

We both apologized. We laughed it off.

But I wall-slammed at home because… I panicked.
What if I lost my job?
Where would I get rent?
Would I have to give up Oishi?
(Just typing that makes me want to eat six donuts and cry.)

I was walling not just from shame… but from fear. Fear of losing the one soul who never judged me—just licked my tears and waited for dinner.

---

Moral of the Episode:

Some people are annoying.
Some people are surprisingly good.
Both will test your Wireless Fidelity and your patience.

So be kind—always.
Be wise—especially.
And whatever you do…

Feed your dog.

PS from Oishi: “After Susan’s full-on telenovela performance 🎭, we curled up in bed 🛏️ and slept like emotionally exhausted champions 🐶💤. Good night and sweet dreams 🌙✨.”