Have you ever felt like something good is about to happen?
I did—in the shower. There must be something magical in tap water, or maybe it was just the conditioner finally reaching my brain. Whatever it was, I felt a shift.
For the past few years, my heart has been heavy with sadness and discouragement. My mind? Full of anxious thoughts doing laps. I hit that weird emotional state where I wasn’t happy or sad—just okay. The “emotionally buffering” zone. I even lost count of how many times I Googled “drifting through life means.”
(And yes, I might look ten years younger than my age, but I’ve lived through enough plot twists to earn those Googles.)
I used to cling to a quote I found online—“live life moment to moment.”
It helped, kind of. For a while.
But eventually, I realized: I need more than a Pinterest mantra.
What I thought I needed was a man. A strong, strategic, steady man.
Translation: a husband.
A handsome one who would sweep me off my feet, take me on wild adventures, and look good in travel selfies.
Look, don’t judge me. I’ve been single for a long time. Let a girl dream.
But here’s the plot twist:
I didn’t need a man. I needed healing.
I kept looking outward—promotion, success, plane tickets—chasing things I thought would make me feel whole. But the advice always circled back to the same things:
“Find happiness within.”
“Help someone in need.”
“Be grateful.”
And I was like:
I am someone in need.
What do you mean “be grateful”? I’m barely hanging on!
But then… I came across this verse again. And something in me softened:
Philippians 4:6-7
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
So I tried. I prayed. I thanked Him—even when I didn’t feel like it at first.
And something shifted.
No, I’m not suddenly problem-free or perfectly happy. But I feel different. I feel a quiet strength, a steadiness. A sense that even if I don’t get what I’m asking for, He hears me. And that’s enough.
To my fellow citizens of the Republic of Anxiety:
Try gratitude. Not just the hashtag version. The raw, shaky kind.
Memorize that verse. Whisper it when the spiral starts. Put it in your heart.
Because something good is about to happen.
Even if it’s just peace.
And honestly? That’s more than enough.
Ember - Fire and Soul 