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Tag: #HouseRules

  • 🧼 Susan’s House Rules (To Be Obeyed by One Shih Tzu Philosofurr)

    Hi, I’m Susan. Loud, loyal, slightly unhinged — and absolutely in love with my furball. That said, living with Oishi requires some ground rules. Fair is fair. So here’s my lovingly dramatic list of things my judgmental companion must understand:

    1. When I come home, you better run to me in slo-mo — Tail wag included. 🐶💃 (You already do this. Keep it up.)
    2. Listen to my rants without side-eye 🙄. Especially when I tell you I’m going to start losing weight. Just nod. Support me. Eat the chips quietly.
    3. Chicken 🍗 is not an everyday thing. Try acting like a normal being and eat other food. (Then again, I eat siopao and donuts like they’re soulmates… so maybe this rule is more for me.)
    4. Bath day🛁 is weekly, not a quarterly festival . Stop hiding under the table when I pull out your shampoo. You think bending down is easy for me?
    5. Stop wandering around like you’re lost 🐶 when I’ve only been gone for two minutes. I just took out the trash, bro. Chill.
    6. Stop following me into the bathroom 🚽🚿🧻. I love you. But there are boundaries. Doors are sacred.
    7. We watch The Detective Agency together. 📺 No judgment when I yell at the screen. I’m emotionally invested, okay? 🍿🐶👀
    8. Stop being dramatic at the pet lounge🐶😭💔,Let the other dogs sniff your butt and make friends. This is a safe space.
    9. Let me tuck you in, kiss you goodnight, and whisper our secrets. I’ll always do this. No matter how old we get. 🤗🛏️🐾
    10. If anyone hurts you, I will go full Susan Hulk. I love you, Badoodle. Forever and ever. 💛

  • 📜 Oishi’s House Rules: To Be Followed by Susan 📜

    🐾 Oishi
    You may know me as Susan’s emotional support dog. Or the stoic philosofurr in red. But behind these soulful eyes and perfectly parted fur is a list. A sacred scroll. A constitution of calm and comfort.

    Here are my House Rules — to be followed by Susan. No exceptions. No backtalk.

    🐶 Oishi’s House Rules:

    1. I only eat chicken. Anything else is a culinary insult.
    2. Do not — I repeat, do not — remove my red bandana.
    3. Belly rubs are required at bedtime. It’s law.
    4. Scrub gently during baths. I’m a Shih Tzu, not a loofah.
    5. I sleep beside you. I don’t care if you’re tired, mad, or engaged in existential dread.
    6. When playing music, I prefer smooth jazz. Do not argue.
    7. No baby voice. I’m a grown dog. With taxes.
    8. Share your siopao or donut. You always say you’re full halfway through anyway.
    9. Don’t cry in the bathroom. I can hear you. I will sit outside the door like a furry therapist.
    10. If someone hurts you, I will attack. Emotionally. With judgment. And dramatic barking.

    ✍️ Writer’s Note:

    These rules were written under strict supervision. Oishi stared at me the whole time like a furry editor-in-chief.

    -Ember 😎🍷✍️