I Was Just Trying to Buy Antihistamines

Susan narrating (irritated, inflamed, and spiritually attacked)

My whole body was itching.

Not the cute little:
“oh maybe it’s just dry skin” kind of itch.

No.

This was the kind of itch that makes you question your entire bloodline.

I was working from home while scratching my arms like a raccoon fighting invisible enemies. Outside, someone was doing karaoke at 2 PM with the confidence of a person who has never feared God nor neighbors.

To make things worse, it was around 35 degrees outside.
The electric fan was spinning but emotionally absent.

I even asked badoodle to scratch my back, but that smug dog just stared at me like:
“Sounds personal, Sus.”

Useless.

So I asked my mom:

“Ma… did you drink my cetirizine?”

She smiled peacefully.

“Yes.”

I froze.

“Why?”

“I slept well.”

Meanwhile my skin looked like I lost a fistfight with mosquitoes, stress, and destiny.

Honestly, I became so irritated because:
A. my skin was turning red like a tomato with emotional damage
and
B. I did NOT want to go outside in this heat.

But I had no choice.

Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight because my body clearly decided to experience every allergy available in Southeast Asia.

After my shift ended, I logged out immediately, scooped up Oishi while wearing my pambahay, and prepared to leave.

Badoodle looked confused.

Like he was silently saying:
“Sus… it is 35 degrees outside. Your mother is here. Leave me in this air-conditioned blessing.”

Badoodle loves my mom because she gives him chicken without asking him to contribute financially to the household.

Traitor.

Anyway, while walking outside, I felt like I entered an obstacle course.

Motorbikes.
Cars.
Random puddles.
Children running at dangerous speeds.
One tricycle driver staring into the void.

I was already irritated, sweaty, itchy, and emotionally medium rare.

Then I saw it again.

That tote bag.

“Here I am, send me.” Isaiah 6:8

I’ve seen that phrase before and every time I do, I always think:
“Wow… those people must have really open hearts.”

Because honestly God?
Helping people is hard.

Especially when you’re just an ordinary person trying to survive your own life.

That’s why I always admire volunteers.
Especially those who go to disaster areas or humanitarian missions.

Sometimes I even think:
“Maybe I should volunteer too.”

Then immediately after:
“Absolutely not, I will cry.”

Especially locally.

Because somehow helping strangers in another country feels noble and cinematic.

But helping nearby?
That feels real.
And difficult.

Then suddenly I remembered how quickly I blamed God recently after seeing my first contract.

That whole situation revealed something ugly in me.

I realized my trust in God was not as strong as I thought.

I panicked immediately.
I blamed Him immediately.

Even though eventually things became okay after the revised contract.

I was actually supposed to buy cetirizine from TGP, but I decided to stop by Dali first because nothing says “efficient adult” like grocery shopping while your entire body is itching.

Anyway.

I entered Dali looking like an itchy pilgrim.

While fixing my groceries near the counter, I noticed a little boy outside asking people for coins.

Nothing unusual.
You see that often.

At first I thought:
“I’ll give him spare change.”

Then suddenly I thought:
“No… maybe I should buy food instead.”

Then another thought entered my head.

“He’s a kid. He’ll probably like those juice boxes.”

Then immediately:
“Lord sana hindi siya magka-diarrhea.”

So there.

Biscuits.
Juice box.
Small Tommy.

While fixing my grocery bag, I called him over and showed him the juice box.

And bff…

I don’t know why but my chest suddenly hurt a little.

Because he looked genuinely shocked.

Not dramatic movie shocked.

Just…
surprised.

Like:
“Wait… this is for me?”

And suddenly I realized something.

Maybe:
“Here I am Lord, send me”
doesn’t always mean:
flying across countries,
joining humanitarian missions,
or becoming some heroic suffering warrior.

Maybe sometimes it simply means:
leaving the house even when you’re irritated,
buying cetirizine,
and noticing the person right in front of you.

Honestly…
I think God sent me to Dali while itchy.

The end.
Still Rising. Still Barking 🐾